You wouldn’t believe it, Jessie J states. There she was preparing for her first album release in eight years, ecstatically in love with her recent boyfriend, and finally the parent to a young child after struggling to conceive for ten years, on top of the world. Then in spring she was diagnosed with cancer in her breast.
The musician, birth name Jessica Cornish, is famous for being brutally honest. The LP, the provocatively titled album, was supposed to be an open book, tackling every bit of hardship she’d experienced since she last worked on songs (a gynecological condition, pregnancy loss, failed relationships, emotional abuse, suicide) with characteristic openness. The first single, the song No Secrets, was released in the spring. But by then there existed a huge secret. Her diagnosis. Then follow-up track, the upbeat Living My Best Life, came out in May and she was speaking publicly about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while still secretly dealing with the disease. A month later she went public, and in the start of summer she had a mastectomy.
She gives me her best “What the fuck?” glance. “I release with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every media appearance, and they inquire, ‘Any updates?’ and I’m, like, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” she has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s yet to undergo reconstructive surgery.
We meet at a photography studio in the capital. She is sporting a light brown synthetic jacket, jeans with elaborate white patches, off-white boots and large glasses. Picture motorcycle style meets 70s singer aesthetic. “It seems like I’m in the 1970s and I should have a partner with a mustache.” Like the film, I say, referencing the movie. “They used to call me that!” She grins. Jessie is sharp-witted, bold and direct. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is planning to attempt her initial standup show next year. “I like entertaining. During performances I frequently joke about the crowd.”
Medical Challenges and Discovery
The artist was preparing for an performance at the awards show when she found a lump. “I immediately went to get it examined, had an ultrasound, and they said, ‘It appears fine; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I insisted, ‘But I can feel it. I’ve got an achy arm and numbness in my fingers whenever I rise.’ And they replied, ‘How about a biopsy?’ The date was March 28, the day after my birthday.” It was a Friday. The specialist told her if it was serious she’d call on the Monday. By then the singer had convinced herself it was nothing. The way she tells it, it was inopportune to get cancer when she had so much on.
“Just two weeks before from launching this thing after years away and an extended break. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I was, like, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I join the call thinking it’s all going to be positive, and she goes, ‘You might want to sit.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she continues, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your test results have come back as aggressive cancer.’” How did you respond? “I said, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. The timing is terrible.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I have to survive for my boy.’”
Some men find me challenging due to my self-awareness
She found the surgery frightening and surreal. “I hate being put under. They lead you. During crises you go on a gurney, but now I just marched with a hospital gown and my rear exposed. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, she notes, she’s been blessed. Without chemo or radio, just the procedure. “It’s terrible, but however I’m grateful it was caught soon. The surgery happened a few months back and my one side now appears as a fruit under fabric.” Another grin. “At least the nipple remains.”
The follow-up procedure is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her chest, she observes, are now “different sizes. The size doesn’t match. So inconsiderate! I reflected, don’t add insult to injury, I’m already having a hard period. How offensive! Ironically I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be perfect. Cancer ruined that plan.”
Previous Struggles
The singer is familiar with health problems. She believes her perspective on the cancer has been so positive because she’s used to medical emergencies. They have often coincided with career highs, serving as a tap on the shoulder, or shock, to highlight not to be complacent. “Truly, I feel fate says, ‘You having a good time? Take a seat.’ Since childhood, it has always gone alongside moments of success for me; something severe or obscure has affected my well-being.”
She recalls to her youth, already making her debut performing in the stage in the production (she was chosen at the age of nine years old). That’s when she was told about the heart condition WPW, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as lightheadedness and irregular beats. “I rehearsed between visits on an intravenous line, and being readmitted at night.” She skips forward six years, and 17-year-old Jess has entered the girl group Soul Deep while studying at the academy. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was ready to debut in recently I had a car crash and my throat was injured and I was unable to vocalize for a year.”
Wow, I say, wait, I can’t keep up. A stroke so young? She nods|agrees
